- (A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
- Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
- Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
- Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
- Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
- Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
- (The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
- Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
- (Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
- Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
- Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
- Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
- (The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)
- Dean: So you're Chosen too, huh?
- Buffy: Yep. A bunch of old men played God a zillion years ago, and here I am.
- Dean: I know that feel.
- Buffy: Oh well. It could be worse. I kind of enjoy killing things.
- Dean: It's really good stress relief. If only we could just stick with killing monsters, right?
- Buffy: I know. One day it's "kill vampires", the next you're sacrificing yourself for your younger sibling.
- Dean: And then they bring you back from the dead!
- Buffy: You too, huh?
- Dean: Crawled my way out of a grave.
- Buffy: Sucks, doesn't it?
- Dean: And then I got back to find out that the person closest to me was doing sketchy, addicting things to become more powerful, all in the name of the greater good.
- Buffy: Let me guess, he tried to start an apocalypse?
- Dean: Not TRIED to start so much as-- wait, how'd you know?
- Buffy: Been there, done that. Man, next thing you'll tell me someone close to you lost their soul and tried to kill people you loved.
- Dean: Dude. This is eerie. Next thing you'll be telling me you have a red-headed computer-hacking lesbian unofficial sister.
- Buffy: ...um....
- Dean: .....Are you my alternate universe parallel?
- Buffy: No, the only alternate universe I've been in, they told me my life was all fiction. And not even good fiction.
- Dean: ...We should hang out.
- Buffy: Definitely.
- Dean: Decapitate some vampires.
- Buffy: Sounds good.
- Dean: Are you seeing anyone?
- Buffy: No, but I'm not over this guy in a big coat who I hated for a while and was an enemy but then came over to our side because he fell in love with me, and then later he betrayed me and it was awful, but then he really did feel bad about it and tried and make up for it and he died saving the world but then came back only he never calls me.
- Dean: .....
- Buffy: .....
I need to prove a point to my homophobic friend.I’m writing down the urls of everyone who reblogs this in a notebook, and will present it to my friend when it is sufficiently full.
You’re gonna need a bigger book
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